Welcoming a New
Brother or Sister through Adoption:
From Navigating New Relationships to Loving Families




Arleta James


ABC of Ohio

ABC of Ohio

Jessica Kingsley Publishing





Resources for Adoptive Dads


The 7 Spiritual Practices of Marriage: Your Guide to Creating a Deep and Lasting Love,by Kevin Anderson. Monclova, Ohio: CLB Press, 2005.

The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-To-Be, by Armin Brott & Jennifer Ash. 2nd Edition. New York: Abbeville Press, 2001.

The Five Love Languages Men’s Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,by Gary Chapman. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 2004.

When Parents become Partners: The Big Life Change for Couples. By Carolyn & Philip Cowan. Philadelphia: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2000.

The Martian Child, by David Gerrold. New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 2002. (This book is based on a true story of a single father adopting a son. The movie version is wonderful for the whole family.)

When a Man Faces Grief: 12 Practical Ideas to Help You Heal from Loss, by Thomas Golden & James Miller.Fort Wayne, Indiana: Willowgreen Publishing, 1998.

Swallowed by a Snake: The Masculine Side of Healing, by Thomas Golden. Gaithersburg, Maryland: Golden Healing Publishing, 2000.

Love's Journey: The Seasons and Stages of a Relationship, Michael Gurian. Boston: Shambhala, 2001.

The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men, by Michael Gurian. New York: Penguin Group, 2000.

The Wonder of Boys, by Michael Gurian. New York: Penguin Group, 2006.

The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters, by Michael Gurian. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2002.

The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School, by Michael Gurian. Hoboken: Jossey-Bass, 2007.

Uncommon Fathers: Reflections on Raising a Child with Special Needs, by Donald Meyer. Bethesda: Woodbine House, 1995.

Fatherneed: Why Father Care IS as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child,by Kyle Pruett. New York: Broadway Books, 2000.

The Nurturing Father: Journey toward the Complete Man, by Kyle Pruett.Clayton, VIC: Warner Books, 1987.

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, by Debra Tannen. New York: Harper Paperbacks, 2001.

Books for Professionals

The Role of the Father in Child Development, Edited by Michael Lamb. New York: John Wiley and Sons, 2010, 5th edition.

The Role of the Father in Child Development, Edited by Michael Lamb.New York: John Wiley and Sons, 2003, 4th edition.


Often, the unique strengths (and weaknesses), viewpoints and needs of male parents in the lives of their children-by-adoption are not addressed. AdoptiveDads.org seeks to contribute to fill this gap. The site has many authors—adoptive fathers—and they post about all aspects of adoption. What makes this resource site so truly wonderful is the compassion and feelings with which these dads describe their experience of fathering. Many of the posts are truly touching. Professionals and parents—mothers and fathers—will gain a depth of insight as to the true meaning of becoming and being a father after reading the stories and replies. No one who takes the time to explore this site will ever view adoptive fathers as other than having the capacity to be a full parenting partner when encouraged and given the opportunity.

Fathers, themselves, will feel supported and will certainly learn an array of ways to care for themselves and their adopted child. From completing paperwork, helping extended family accept the idea of an adopted grandchild or niece, talking to a child about the loss of the birth family, to creating a support system—and much more—AdoptiveFathers.org offers some ideas.

Visit AdoptiveDads.org today!

The Gottman Institute
The Gottman Institute provides practical, research-based tools to strengthen and repair marriages and relationships. Also, in-home training packages are available for any clinicians interested in honing the skills necessary to work with couples.

Children Now

Children Now is a national organization for people who care about children and want to ensure that they are the top public policy priority. Children Now combines research and advocacy. They investigate media influences on children, children's health and healthcare, and education, and they promote ways of “Talking with Kids” about tough issues—sex, AIDS, violence, drugs and alcohol. This website is the home to the Boys to Men report quoted in this chapter. Fathers and mothers might also want to look at the Children Now report, Reflections of Girls in the Media.

Dads and Daughters
This organization believes that all families benefit from active, engaged father/daughter relationships and that these relationships help girls grow and overcome obstacles. The content on the website is meant to maximize the power and potential of father/daughter relationships. The website is nicely organized with information for expectant fathers, and fathers of school-aged, middle school-aged, teenage and adult daughters.

The Fathers Network
The Fathers Network provides current information and resources to assist all families and care providers involved in the lives of children with special needs. This information is up-to-date, helpful and designed to promote the resilience of all family members. They have award-winning monographs, videos, newsletters and curricula available upon request. Visit their links about families, fathers, disabilities, health care and legal issues. Learn about their work in Washington state and their 15 statewide programs which provide powerful, positive support and fellowship.

This is a website with information for men regarding fathering, anger, grief and depression. MenWeb recognizes that men's issues are not just men's issues but issues for men and women. So, there is much information relating to marriage and relationships. MenWeb keeps men up to date with the latest books written with men in mind.

National Center for Fathering
The mission of the National Center for Fathering is to improve the well-being of children by inspiring and equipping men to be more effectively involved in the lives of children. The center was founded by Dr. Ken Canfield to conduct research on fathers and fathering, and to develop practical resources to prepare dads for nearly every fathering situation. This website has certainly accomplished this latter goal! There is information on any topic a father may want to explore. Additionally, there is an area for adoptive dads to post messages to each other.

National Child Care Information and Technical Assistance Center (NCCIC)
The link takes you directly to the “Fathers Involvement in the Lives of their Children” section of this organization. Fathers will find information about being involved in the care, education and support of their children. NCCIC is a service of the Child Care Bureau and it provides comprehensive child care information.


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Arleta James, M.S., P.C.C.

Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio
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