Welcoming a New
Brother or Sister through Adoption:
From Navigating New Relationships to Loving Families



Arleta James


ABC of Ohio

ABC of Ohio

Jessica Kingsley Publishing





Resources: Fathers in Adoption



Anderson, Kevin. The 7 Spiritual Practices of Marriage: Your Guide to Creating a Deep and Lasting Love. (Monclova, Ohio: CLB Press, 2005.)

Brott, A.A. and J. Ash. The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-To-Be (2nd Edition). (New York: Abbeville Press, 2001.)

Chapman, Gary. The Five Languages of Love: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (Men’s Edition). (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 2004.)

Cowan, Carolyn Pape and Philip A. Cowan. When Parents become Partners: The Big Life Change for Couples. (Philadelphia: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2000.)

Gerrold, David. The Martian Child. (New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 2002.) This book is based on a true story of a single father adopting a son. The movie version is wonderful for the whole family.

Golden, Thomas R and James E. Miller. When a Man Faces Grief: 12 Practical Ideas to Help You Heal from Loss. (Fort Wayne, Indiana: Willowgreen Publishing, 1998.)

Golden, Thomas R. Swallowed by a Snake: The Masculine Side of Healing. (Gaithersburg, Maryland: Golden Healing Publishing, 2000.)

Gurian, Michael. Love’s Journey: The Seasons and Stages of a Relationship. (Boston: Shambhala, 2001.)

Gurian, Michael. The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men. (New York: Penguin Group, 2000.)

Gurian, Michael. The Wonder of Boys. (New York: Penguin Group, 2006.)

Gurian, Michael. The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters. (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2002.)

Gurian, Michael. The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School. (Hoboken: Jossey-Bass, 2007.)

James, Arleta. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption: Helping Children Navigate Relationships when New Kids Join the Family. (Indianapolis: Perspectives Press, Inc. 2009.)

Keck, Gregory C. & Regina M. Kupecky. Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids: A Guide for Parents and Professionals. (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1995.)

Keck, Gregory C. & Regina M. Kupecky. Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow. (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2009.)

Meyer, Donald J. Uncommon Fathers: Reflections on Raising a Child with Special Needs. (Bethesda: Woodbine House, 1995.)

McKay, Gary and Don Dinkmeyer. How You Feel is Up to You: The Power of Emotional Choice. (Atascadero: Impact Publishers, 2002.)

Pruett, Kyle D. Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child. (New York: Broadway Books, 2000.)

Siegel, Daniel and Mary Hartzell. Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive. (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2003.)

Tannen, Debra. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. (New York: Harper Paperbacks, 2001.)


Adoption Fathers
Adoption Fathers chooses to be the ultimate resource for adoptive fathers. This site (and group) is dedicated to serving men and their families as they pursue the great calling of adoption. At Adoption Fathers the focus is on uncovering and communicating the truth behind the questions, issues, fears, hopes and obstacles of being an adoptive father; begining with the decision to adopt all the way through the parenting process. Our ultimate objective is simply to support and encourage the thousands of men being called to build their family via adoption. You can also visit this group on facebook! The website and facebook are packed with great information! Dads will enjoy the videos and networking opportunities!

Children Now
Children Now is a national organization for people who care about children and want to ensure that they are the top public policy priority. Children Now combines research and advocacy. They investigate media influences on children, children’s health and healthcare, and education, and they promote ways of “Talking with Kids” about tough issues—sex, AIDS, violence, drugs and alcohol. This website is the home to the Boys to Men report quoted in this chapter. Fathers and mothers might also want to look at the Children Now report, Reflections of Girls in the Media.

Dads & Daughters
This organization believes that all families benefit from active, engaged father/daughter relationships and that these relationships help girls grow and overcome obstacles. The content on the website is meant to maximize the power and potential of father/daughter relationships. The website is nicely organized with information for expectant fathers, and fathers of school-aged, middle school-aged, teenage and adult daughters.

The Fathers Network
The Fathers Network provides current information and resources to assist all families and care providers involved in the lives of children with special needs. This information is up-to-date, helpful and designed to promote the resilience of all family members. They have award winning monographs, videos, newsletters and curriculum available upon request. Visit their links about families, fathers, disabilities, health care and legal issues. Learn about their work in Washington state and their fifteen statewide programs which provide powerful, positive support and fellowship.

The Gottman Institute
The Gottman Institute provides practical, research-based tools to strengthen and repair marriages and relationships. Also, in-home training packages are available for any clinicians interested in honing the skills necessary to work with couples.

This is a website with information for men regarding fathering, anger, grief and depression. MenWeb recognizes that men's issues are not just men's issues but issues for men and women. So, there is much information relating to marriage and relationships. MenWeb keeps men up to date with the latest books written with men in mind.

National Center for Fathering
The mission of the National Center for Fathering is to improve the well-being of children by inspiring and equipping men to be more effectively involved in the lives of children. The center was founded by Dr. Ken Canfield to conduct research on fathers and fathering, and to develop practical resources to prepare dads for nearly every fathering situation. This website has certainly accomplished this latter goal! There is information on any topic a father may want to explore. Additionally, there is an area for adoptive dads to post messages to each other.

National Child Care Information and Technical Assistance Center (NCCIC)
The link takes you directly to the “Fathers Involvement in the Lives of their Children” section of this organization. Fathers will find information about being involved in the care, education and support of their children. NCCIC is a service of the Child Care Bureau and it provides comprehensive child care information.


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Arleta James, M.S., P.C.C.

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